Ripples In Time
by can
Summary: Spoilers through UR - No summary, it would give the story away. Please R/R
1. Default Chapter

Ripples in Time By: Can (lucyc_23455@yahoo.com) Spoilers: Up through Unrealized Reality Rating: PG Disclaimer: I don't own them  
  
Many thanks to my beta gbbard  
  
  
  
All he could see was the heavy mist that hovered over him, as he woke, rubbing his eyes. "What the frell?" He asked, trying to move, his limbs resisting the brain's command.  
  
He felt an image appear before him, focusing on the being that loomed over him. "Where am I?" He asked, his mind in total confusion. He felt as if someone had shut the lights off plunging him into total darkness.  
  
The being stood there watching the man struggle to sit up, knowing he lacked all understanding of what was happening. He knew he would want an explanation, but there would be none. The man had to do as he was told since he had no choice in the matter. The higher powers had decided and it was his job to carry out their orders.  
  
"We made a mistake. It was not your time yet. There is still too much unfinished business that must be taken care of if we hope to survive," the being said, quoting the powers, word for word. "You must go back."  
  
The man looked up at the figure, puzzled. "Go back.where? I died remember?" The man slowly rose to his feet and leaned against the rock to steady his shaking legs. He clenched his fist to help get the blood flowing again, feeling as if every limb had been asleep for ages.  
  
"No, you didn't," the figure replied, unsure how he could explain this. "We just made it seem that way because we couldn't trust you with the knowledge."  
  
The man pulled himself away from the rock and moved towards the form. Grabbing him he shouted, "Are you telling me I didn't die? You j.just held me p.prisoner...or something? Frell you!" He shoved the figure and stomped away, his blood pounding in he ears. Pacing back and forth, furious with the cryptic words, he stopped, the anger clear in his voice. "What the hell are you telling me? I didn't die?"  
  
The being sighed, "Yes and no."  
  
"Quit with the mystery, Sherlock! It's one or the other," he shouted, waving his arms around. "Which one is it?" He asked, turning his head side to side, the bitterness in his voice evident.  
  
This was the moment the being had dreaded. No matter how he answered the man he knew his reaction would most likely be volatile. "We controlled it all. Your life was in our hands," he replied, keeping his eyes on the man. "My people allowed it to protect the rest of the universe, but you were never really dead. It was just a temporary state until we needed you again, as we do now."  
  
The man was stunned, feeling a weakness settle over him, lowering himself to the mossy ground. The figure saw the dazed look on his face and understood; grateful he had miscalculated his reaction. He found this encouraging, hoping he wouldn't resist.  
  
The man sat with his arms slung over his bent knees. Without looking at the figure he asked, "How long.has it been?" He needed to know, remembering what he had left behind, his friends thinking him dead.  
  
"Only two cycles, that's all," the being replied. "It's not too late."  
  
The man rubbed the palm of his hands over his eyes, feeling totally drained now. "Only," he said, hearing the false laughter erupt from his lips, only to mix with the tears that had started to flow. 'Two frelling cycles out of my life!' The thought kept circling through his mind, unable to stop it.  
  
The figure saw the pain the man was in. It was amazing, he thought, that such an emotional creature could survive in the unchartereds as long as he did. He knew they had done the only thing they could at that time. "It's time to return. You will know what to do when the time comes."  
  
He wiped the tears away before looking up. Clearing his throat, he replied, "Mind telling me how I'm gonna explain this?"  
  
"You will know," the being replied simply.  
  
  
  
xxxxx  
  
"Frell, Crichton, I don't know what to tell you anymore," D'Argo said, feeling for his friend. "Aeryn is hot and cold. One day she talks to you, the next nothing. I don't know what to say."  
  
"D, she can't be in mourning anymore. It's been too long," John replied, dropping his head into his hands. "It seems like every time I screw up, she goes distant on me."  
  
D'Argo snorted slightly. "Then don't screw up, John. That should solve the problem."  
  
"Funny D'Argo, very funny," John replied sarcastically, slamming his fists on the table as he rose to his feet. He walked towards the counter, leaning on it, his muscles tight, hearing the Luxan's laughter behind him.  
  
"I'm sorry John, but you asked for that." D'Argo was still laughing as Aeryn glided into the center chamber.  
  
The Luxan grew quiet when he saw her enter the room.  
  
"What's so funny D'Argo?" She asked eyeing him and John, filling her plate with food cubes. Aeryn walked to the table and sat down, waiting for someone to answer. "Well?" She asked again with questioning eyes, noticing John wasn't laughing. 'What a switch,' she thought smiling to herself.  
  
John answered, his back to them. "Nothing, Aeryn, just one of D'Argo's lousy jokes."  
  
"I thought that was your specialty, Crichton!" Aeryn started laughing, knowing she had gotten the best of him. D'Argo joined in not able to suppress it anymore.  
  
John turned, leaning his waist against the counter, his jaw tightly clenched. "I'm glad I could amuse both of you," he replied, knowing he was the brunt of the joke, always being in a no win situation. "I'll just leave you to your cackling and take command."  
  
Aeryn and D'Argo stopped laughing, Aeryn grabbing John's arm as he walked by her. "No John, Chiana's there. Sit and eat with me."  
  
John stopped in his tracks, not being able to resist the sudden change in her. This was the Aeryn he knew, not the one who had ignored him for two solar days. He looked into her eyes, hoping for sincerity.  
  
"Really, John," Aeryn said, motioning with her head for him to sit.  
  
John shot a warning look at D'Argo as he slowly took a seat. The Luxan acknowledged him with a nod of his head. John relaxed, getting comfortable now, sure of his friend. He knew he had brought the laughter on himself, but it still didn't help him figure out Aeryn, and that was where he needed his friends help.  
  
John watched Aeryn, basking in her beauty. He was a sucker for it, knowing he would do anything for her, his love that deep. "Um.I thought you were angry with me Aeryn," he ventured, not sure what kind of retort he would receive back. He knew he took a chance every time he approached her.  
  
"Now why would you think that, John?" Aeryn asked playfully, her eyes still on her plate. "I don't suppose it has anything to do with the fact you almost got us all frelling killed on that planet. Would it?"  
  
"Aeryn, that wasn't my fault and you know it!" John snapped back. "How the hell was I supposed to know that merchant had seen a holo? The planet was supposed to be clear!" He rubbed his hands back and forth over his face in frustration. Why was everything his fault after all this time?  
  
Aeryn had realized her mistake earlier and was just toying with John now, regretting it when she saw the anguish in him. She rose from her chair and crouched beside him, lightly resting her hand on his arm. "John, I didn't mean it, I was just making one of your jokes," she said softly, hoping he would look at her. She should have known better. John always took things too hard.  
  
John reached for her hand. "Babe, please don't make jokes about that. I carry enough.guilt. I don't need anymore," he whispered, the pain of his past slicing through his mind, his head leaning against his palm.  
  
"It was a bad joke, John. I'm sorry," Aeryn replied, feeling only sorrow in her heart, recognizing the look on his face. "I.I had.forgotten."  
  
John took her hand and placed it against his cheek. He didn't want his past to ruin the moment they had together.  
  
D'Argo watched, feeling for his friend, remembering the tortures he had endured. He knew they still needed to tread lightly with John. He tried to hide them, but the Luxan knew they were still with him. Such memories were not easily forgotten as he was reminded at this microt.  
  
xxxxx  
  
They were sleeping in the comfort of each others arms, as the comms startled them. Aeryn was the first to react.  
  
"What is it D'Argo?" She asked quietly, trying to clear the sleep from her head. She was once a peacekeeper, but she had lost many of the traits the longer she was on Moya and had finally found love.  
  
She felt John stir behind her. "Aeryn?"  
  
"Shh, John, sleep. I'll take care of it," she replied, waiting for a response from the Luxan. No need for both of them to have their sleep disturbed.  
  
"Aeryn, we have a pod on our scanners. Moya says it seems harmless, containing only one being. I think you should get up here now," D'Argo replied hastily, unsure of why a pod would be floating in open space. "Pilot says the inhabitant is in danger and we need to activate the docking web."  
  
Aeryn jumped from the bed, dressing quickly. "Do as Pilot says, D'Argo, now!" The dreams Aeryn had been having were playing their hand now. 'Could this really be happening?' Aeryn asked herself, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She looked down at the sleeping figure, torn between what she hoped and the man before her, who had shown her nothing but compassion and love when she needed it the most. She turned away from him and headed towards the landing bay.  
  
"D'Argo, meet me in the hangar," Aeryn shouted, running through the corridors, her heart light, filled with hope.  
  
"Aeryn, where is John?" D'Argo asked, an unsettling feeling coming over him, hearing a difference in her voice.  
  
"I left him sleeping, D'Argo, and don't wake him.please," Aeryn, stated, still feeling elated.  
  
Opening his comms again he called Chiana. "I need you in command, Chiana. We have a visitor and I must meet Aeryn."  
  
"Be right there, D'Argo," Chiana replied, quickly rising and donning her clothes. "Go to Aeryn now. I'll be there in a few microts."  
  
"Very well, Chiana. Just get here as soon as you can."  
  
"I'm on my way, D'Argo," Chiana replied, running, wondering what the frell was happening.  
  
Aeryn and D'Argo met in the bay just as the pod landed. Aeryn started to walk towards it, as D'Argo reached out and laid his hand on her arm. "Aeryn, I sense you know about this pod. Talk to me," D'Argo said softly, the eye contact telling the story.  
  
"It's the dreams I have been having lately, D'Argo," Aeryn replied, pulling her arm out of his grasp, running now, towards the pod.  
  
D'Argo drew his qualta blade for insurance, not sure he would need it. His heart was sinking with Aeryn's words. It was obvious if it was him, then she had made her choice. What the frell would happen to his friend now?  
  
Aeryn stopped, watching the pod door ease open, her heart beating frantically. 'Please let it be him,' her mind pleading, the hatch taking forever.  
  
The figure emerged from the vessel. Aeryn gasped, her breath catching in her throat for a microt. She had hoped, but didn't think it could come true. Standing there breathless, John took her in with his eyes, savoring every part of her being.  
  
"Aeryn. God how I've missed you," John said tenderly, aching to embrace her, a lump forming in his throat.  
  
The tears flowed down her cheeks as she calmed her breathing. "John!" That was all she could manage as she ran into his arms, caressing every part of him she could touch, their lips meeting, the passion consuming them.  
  
"Um huh." D'Argo interrupted. "Would someone like to tell me what the frell is going on here?"  
  
Aeryn and John drew apart, frustrated by the interruption. Their reunion would have to wait until later.  
  
Chiana commed D'Argo. "Who the frell boarded Moya now?" She asked, wanting to know what was going on.  
  
D'Argo replied simply, "John Crichton. the other one," his heart sinking deeper now for his friend.  
  
  
  
xxxxx  
  
Aeryn and John sat in the center chamber, fingers entwined in each others, their bodies touching.  
  
Chiana had joined them since she wasn't needed in command anymore. She didn't want to miss this for anything.  
  
D'Argo opened the conversation after each of them had taken a seat, noting Aeryn and John's posture. He didn't think he could pry them apart if he tried. This new situation was only causing him to feel sick to his stomach. "So. John, we were told you had died, and now you sit before us. How can that be?"  
  
John glanced at Aeryn before he spoke. Turning back to the Luxan he replied, "D'Argo, I don't understand it any better now than I did when it was first explained. I was dead, but I wasn't. Hope you can make better sense out of it than I could."  
  
"You are speaking of the Ancients, aren't you John?" Aeryn asked, already guessing the answer.  
  
"Yeah, Aeryn. They told me they controlled everything," John replied, rubbing his free hand through his hair, still confused on many points. The one thing he was sure of was he had been given a second chance at life.  
  
Aeryn reached over and pulled his face up to meet her eyes. "All that matters is you are alive, John."  
  
Chiana watched the interaction between the two, feeling for the other John. She posed the question they all seemed to be avoiding. "And what about the other John? Did anybody even think about him?" Chiana asked, rising from the table, walking to the counter and leaning against it.  
  
"I have Chiana," D'Argo stated, his tone flat, dreading what was to come.  
  
Aeryn released John, a shocked expression on her face. "I.I h.had ."  
  
"I know, Aeryn! That's the problem. You've already forgotten about him!" Chiana spoke; agitated that Aeryn could forget him so easily, the one person who had stood beside her no matter how much she dealt him. He was always there for her, in spite of his own problems from the past. They both seemed to have healed. now this.  
  
"Pip, calm down." John rose from his seat and approached the Nebari. "You know I'm John. He'll get over it when he sees how happy we both are. It'll be ok." John said softly, reaching out to touch her cheek.  
  
Chiana sidled along the counter, wanting to be out of his reach, slapping at his outstretched arm. "Get the frell away from me!" Her eyes were seething with intense anger, only for the tears to take over. She ran out of the center chamber wishing it only to be a nightmare she hadn't woken from yet, wanting to bury herself in bed again. 'Don't let this be true!' Her mind shouted, running back to her quarters, the sobs aching in her throat.  
  
John looked at Aeryn and D'Argo, unsettled by Chiana's reaction. He planted his hands on his hips and dropped his head. "I would guess the other John has gotten pretty close to all of you."  
  
D'Argo was silent, his eyes focused on the table, his mind only on his friend and what would happen when he found out. Deciding on his course, D'Argo rose from his seat. He looked at Aeryn and John, solemnly. "There was never a time he wasn't." The Luxan started toward the exit, his heart heavy, suddenly turning back. "I have one request of.both of you. It would help if you could go to one of the other levels until I can explain this to him. I don't think it would be fair to John if he ran into you without warning."  
  
Aeryn looked at John, seeing the pain Chiana's rejection caused him. She knew what she was about to say would also dishearten him, but it was something she had to do. Turning to D'Argo she said, "I want to be with you D'Argo. I owe him that much."  
  
"Are you sure, Aeryn?" D'Argo asked, wondering who she was doing it for. Was it to appease her own conscious, or for the John she had grown to love in the past two cycles. Either way, he knew it would be a devastating blow for his friend.  
  
"Yes, D'Argo," she replied, looking at John for a microt, seeing no reaction. She could only see sadness in his face, her heart feeling his pain. "John?" She asked softly.  
  
He looked up and walked towards her. John took her in his arms, whispering in her ear. "Trust me, I understand, babe. Go to him, he deserves that much from you. He took care of you when I couldn't. I'll be waiting." John knew how painful this had to be for all of them. If he were the other he knew he would need Aeryn to face him before he could accept it. John was worried about what would happen when they both finally saw each other. He kissed Aeryn lightly on the lips as she pulled away, ready to follow D'Argo.  
  
xxxxx  
  
  
  
They entered John's quarters, the human still sleeping soundly.  
  
"Let me D'Argo," Aeryn said, lightly walking from the door to the bed. She looked down on his face, the innocence so profound in his sleep. She hated to wake him, dreading the confrontation, torn now as she looked upon him. This was the man who had held her when she needed the comfort. The one who had suffered by her own hand, only to be there for her when needed. Her heart was filled with happiness on one count, but it was heavy now, running her hand lightly across his cheek, remembering. She sat on the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath, wanting to be done with it.  
  
D'Argo's own hearts were breaking as he watched the scene before him, knowing Aeryn still cared for him. His initial bitterness was wavering now, knowing the torment she must be feeling. He walked silently to her side, placing his hand on her shoulder. Aeryn looked at him, her eyes questioning. D'Argo nodded in agreement, it was time.  
  
"John." Aeryn said softly, trying not to startle the human. She leaned down and caressed his cheek, the feelings returning in her. She gently shook his shoulders, watching him stir beneath her touch.  
  
He opened his eyes and saw her before him. He brought his arms up to bring her down to him. "How lucky can a man be, but to wake up to your beauty," he said tenderly, holding her tightly to him.  
  
John felt her fighting him, releasing her from his arms, wondering what had angered her this time. Sitting up quickly, he exclaimed, "What the frell is wrong now?" Aeryn stepped away, seeing his confusion. It was then that John noticed D'Argo in his quarters.  
  
"D, what are you doing here?" He asked puzzled, nothing making sense. He saw the looks on both their faces, feeling the rattlers settle in, knowing he wasn't going to like what they were about to tell him. "What.the .frell is going on? Someone want to spill the beans, cause this little old human ain't gettin it."  
  
Aeryn couldn't find any words, feeling a lump in her throat. She looked at D'Argo, her eyes pleading for him to tell him. Being in the same room with this John was tearing her in two, realizing she loved both of them.  
  
Aeryn dropped her head as the Luxan broached the subject. "John, we have a new ship mate on Moya. He came aboard tonight."  
  
"Ok, D'Argo, I'll play along with you. Who is it?" John asked, chuckling nervously, almost afraid to hear the answer.  
  
D'Argo sighed heavily before replying. "The other John Crichton."  
  
John felt as if someone had knocked the air out of him, sitting there stunned, feeling like he was going to hyperventilate, his face turning pale. He knew the rattlers were dead on this time.  
  
Aeryn knelt in front of him, understanding his shock. "Easy, John," she said softly, "breathe slowly." She had become concerned when she saw his face become colorless.  
  
"H.how?" He gasped, his mind flashing back to events he wanted only to forget.  
  
"None of us know, including him, John. All we can tell you is he's.here," D'Argo stated. "Pilot informed us a vessel was in distress and it wasn't armed. We brought it aboard." D'Argo hated the question that suddenly crowded his mind.'what if we hadn't?'  
  
John slipped off the bed, rising to his feet wearily, sighing heavily, his eyes distant. Pulling on his shirt, he turned to them. "I guess it's time I saw him then. Where is he?" John asked half-heartedly. He felt his world had been turned upside down. He and Aeryn had finally come to a turning point in their lives where they could accept each other and love again. How was he going to affect their relationship?  
  
Aeryn moved in front of him, putting herself between him and the door. "Now is not a good time, John. He's waiting for me. We can all talk tomorrow," Aeryn replied, the feeling of betrayal burning her soul.  
  
John flinched at that moment, swallowing hard. "Waiting?" He asked, tilting his head, sure he had heard her wrong. "Aeryn.did you say.waiting for.you?" John asked again, his voice faltering slightly.  
  
Aeryn dropped her head, staring at her boots, knowing John wasn't taking this well. 'What had she expected?' She knew she was hurting him, but didn't know what else to do at this microt. She was confused.  
  
John stared at her. Aeryn's silence was stronger than any words that could have touched her lips, sucking the life out of him. He stepped away quickly as if he had just been burned in more than one sense of the word. John turned his back to her and said, his voice devoid of all emotion, "Sounds like you started the party without me.again."  
  
Aeryn's head snapped up, the hurt showing. "It's not what you."  
  
John spun around, the anger glaring in his eyes. "Think! Not what I think! Then what the hell is it Aeryn? Go ahead tell me!"  
  
D'Argo started to approach the two. John saw him out of the corner of his eye and raised his hand to stop him. "No D, Aeryn's going to explain." John could see the shocked look on her face, but he couldn't help himself, his frustration rising.  
  
"Enough John! This will do no one any good!" D'Argo shouted back at the human. "Aeryn doesn't like the situation anymore than you do." He walked over to his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder. Quietly he said, "Let it rest for tonight, John."  
  
John stumbled back, hitting the bunk, placing his thumb and index finger over his eyes to stop the tears that threatened. Clearing his throat John replied, "Um.yeah your right. Let's call it a night. Just go." He was numb, his mind too fried to think clearly anymore.  
  
"John?" Aeryn questioned softly, waiting for a reply. She turned and left with D'Argo, the silence ominous in his quarters. He had dismissed her.  
  
John started humming to himself, breaking the quiet, not wanting to think about what would happen when she joined the other one tonight. He put new words to the music singing to himself. "He comes she goes.he comes she goes.he comes she goes."  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued tomorrow 


	2. Ripples In Time Part Two

Ripples In Time By: Can (lucyc_23455@yahoo.com) Spoilers: Up through Unrealized Realities Rating: PG Disclaimer: I don't own them  
  
Many thanks to gbbarb for reading  
  
Note: The brackets signify a dream like state  
  
Part Two  
  
Chiana hurried out of her quarters and headed for Rygel's cell. She needed to tell him about last night before they all met for the morning meal. She burst through his cell door unannounced, startling the Hynerian.  
  
Rygel spun around as she entered the room. "What the yotz do you think you're doing girl? No one enters my cell in that manner!"  
  
"Just stuff it Ryg! I have something important to tell you!" Chiana stated, the Hynerian still mumbling under his breath. "You want to know or not?"  
  
Rygel straightened his robes and replied, "Well now that you are here, you might as well tell me what is so important that you felt the need to barge into my quarters!"  
  
"The other one's back, Rygel. He showed up last night. Can you frelling believe it?" Her words tumbling out, pausing to take a breath.  
  
Rygel stared at Chiana for a few microts in disbelief, allowing the news to sink in. "Frell." He said quietly, thinking. "How, Chiana? He died.I was there." Rygel reverted back to that day in his mind. Besides losing his throne and being held captive, it was one of the saddest times in his life.  
  
"No one frelling understands, including him! Something about the Ancients. That's all he could tell us," Chiana scowled, thinking back to the explanation of the previous night.  
  
"Oh yotz!" Rygel stammered, suddenly remembering the real dilemma they were facing. "How is John taking this, Chiana?"  
  
"I.I don't know Ryg. I haven't seen him yet. After I woke, I came here, sure you didn't know," Chiana replied softly, only imagining the state John was in.  
  
Clearing his throat and feeling his stomachs growling, food was utmost on his mind at this microt. "Well now that you mention it, Chiana, I think it would be wise for us to eat and discuss this later," Rygel said, rising in his throne sled, moving towards the exit. "We will need our strength to deal with this."  
  
xxxxx  
  
Aeryn, John and D'Argo were in the center chamber. They greeted each other with a curt 'good morning', eating in silence. John and Aeryn tried to engage D'Argo in conversation, but he only grumbled in response, uncomfortable with the whole situation.  
  
Chiana and Rygel walked in together, nodding to the others. The only one that John hadn't seen the night before was Rygel as he rose from the table to greet his friend again.  
  
"Hiya Sparky!" He said enthusiastically, glad to see him again, noting the suspicious look on his face. "Hey Ryg, it's me, the one you thought died. I'm back!" John grabbed him, kissing him, the Hynerian pulling away quickly.  
  
"Don't do that, and that's still to be seen!" Rygel said indignantly, filling his plate, taking a place at the table.  
  
D'Argo saw the dejected look on John's face. In a diplomatic manner D'Argo tried to explain. "You must understand something, John. We have been without you for two cycles. You have come aboard and expect everyone to welcome you while we have one of our own hurting."  
  
Aeryn looked away when D'Argo said this, knowing she was part of the hurt the others were feeling.  
  
"We welcome you and are glad you survived, but you need to give us all some time to get used to the situation again. Please.just take things a little slower," D'Argo stated, wondering about his friend.  
  
John looked at the solemn faces in the room, knowing what the Luxan said was true. Lowering himself in his seat, he dropped his head into his hands, running them over his face. "You're right, D'Argo.sorry. It's j.just so.overwhelming for me. I thought I had lost you all.and now I have you back. I.forget there's.another me on this ship and what he must be feeling right now."  
  
Aeryn didn't want to display any affection in front of the rest of the crew, so she placed her hand on his shoulder. "I think everyone can understand that, John. Let's just give it some time."  
  
John nodded, sighing heavily, knowing what he had to do now. He had been so elated over his rebirth that he had forgotten the pain he had wrought on his twin, feeling only regret for his oversight. He rose to his feet ready to try and rectify his mistake. John stood for a few moments before he spoke, his head hung, avoiding their eyes. Raising his head and looking away, his eyes slightly red, he informed them of his decision. "I want an arn with him, that's all. Just one arn."  
  
D'Argo shook his head. "I don't know if that would be wise, John, at least not by yourself. None of us have seen him this morning. We don't know how."  
  
John stopped him in mid sentence. His lips twitched slightly before he continued. "I'm him, D. Don't you think I know what he is feeling?" He asked, his voice shaky. "Trust me."  
  
D'Argo looked to the rest of the crew, his eyes questioning. They all nodded their heads, realizing this John was the same as theirs, sincere.  
  
D'Argo looked up at him. "Very well, John.one arn. But promise me this," D'Argo replied grabbing him on the arm before he left. "If things don't go well you will either retreat or call me. He's suffered enough."  
  
"I promise, D'Argo," John replied, admiring the care the Luxan showed for his friends. He hoped to get that back someday.  
  
xxxxx  
  
  
  
The maintenance on the Farscape module was taking longer than he thought it would. John wanted to leave as soon as possible, realizing there was no real answer to their dilemma. All he knew was there could only be one John Crichton. If Aeryn made her choice, and it seemed obvious to him that she had, it was time for him to move on. He couldn't live on Moya seeing the two of them together. He had tried to deny this all morning, but the one thing he did pride himself on was being able to see the truth whether he liked it or not.  
  
"Suck it up, John. You were alone once before and survived.barely," he said sighing, his heart heavy with the choice he made. He didn't relish being alone again, feeling himself waver.  
  
John rolled out from under the module, tapping his comm. "Pilot how long until we are in range of the commerce planet?" He asked, getting to his feet, walking over to the fuel that would feed his vessel.  
  
"Commander, I still advise against this. Moya is your home. The Leviathan is large enough to accommodate all of you," Pilot replied, disheartened that anyone felt the need to leave.  
  
"Just answer the question Pilot!" John replied louder than he meant to. Lowering his voice, he apologized. "Sorry, Pilot. I.didn't mean." He was edgy from lack of sleep from the previous night, still thinking the worst. John's mind had gone from one extreme to the other thinking about the love play that must have gone on between them. He couldn't understand how he could lose her in just a matter of microts, the pain slashing through his already crumbling heart.  
  
"I understand, Commander," Pilot replied, knowing John would never raise his voice to him unless he was under extreme stress. It saddened Pilot and Moya that the human was so unhappy.  
  
John leaned his forehead against the module, tapping it several times against the body of the vessel, then increasing the tempo until he was continually slamming it, the rage and pain finally rising to a crescendo, the tears spilling down his face. He felt the blood mix with the tears, but it was of no consequence since he had lost the one thing that brought him happiness. He brought his hands up, laying them on the vessel, his head still. The sobs racked his body now, not wanting to go back to a solitary life. As much as he had convinced himself it was the best thing to do, he knew he would lose it this time if he had to do it again.  
  
John pushed himself from the module, wiping the trickling blood away with the sleeve of his jacket. Losing Aeryn was one thing. Not being with his friends was another, convincing himself he would be grateful for the small pleasures he could salvage for the dismal life that lay ahead of him.  
  
"Pilot, cancel my last request," John ordered. "I'm staying. I can't be apart from Moya and my friends again.I don't think I could survive it a second time." The tiredness he was feeling crept into his voice, resigned now to the other guy.  
  
Pilot was relieved. "I think it is a wise decision, Commander. We do not want to see you leave."  
  
John chuckled. "Just don't take a vote on it." John felt another spot of blood hit his eye, reaching up with his hand to touch his forehead. "Damn!" He said seeing the bright red glaring back at him, reaching for a nearby rag. He pressed it against his head, wincing at the contact. "Yo Pilot, got another request for you. Can you get another cell ready for me on another tier? I want to be away from.them."  
  
"Of course, Commander. The DRD's are seeing to it now. Tier eleven. We will make you as comfortable as possible," Pilot stated, pleased to accommodate him.  
  
"Thanks Pilot," John replied, moving towards the exit. He wanted to move his belongings and get settled into his new home. It would most probably be the one he lived in for the rest of his life.  
  
Rounding the corner of the door, John ran into his twin. He stepped back, surprised. It was the last thing he expected. John choked, his mind completely blank. He didn't have a coherent thought in his head at this moment.  
  
His twin stood there, staring at his blood soaked head, and then looked away. "I.I apologize. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I came here to talk, get it out in the open. you know what I mean," he said, focusing on him, seeing the pain he knew would be there. It would be the same for him.  
  
John glared at him, eyes opened wide. "You heard? How the hell could you do that?" He felt sick. This was the last person he'd ever want to hear his thoughts!  
  
"I'm sorry, John. I didn't come here to spy on you. When I heard you I.I just couldn't walk in," his twin stated, understanding all he felt. "You forget.I love her as much as you do."  
  
John winced, looking away, trying to hold the tears back. "What the hell do you want with me?" He questioned, his jaw clenched tightly. "You've got. Aeryn.what the hell else do you want?" John didn't want to hear his answer, stepping to go around him.  
  
His twin stepped in front, blocking him. "I want you to hear me out. There is work we have to do.together."  
  
"Yeah, sure thing man. Make an appointment. I'm kinda busy these days.you know equations and all," John spat back, pushing him out of his path.  
  
His twin watched him walk away, knowing he needed to stop him. "John!" He shouted at his back. "That's exactly what I am talking about." He was relieved when he saw him stop, knowing he had piqued his curiosity.  
  
John glanced over his shoulder, replying, "We'll talk tomorrow. I've had enough dren for one day."  
  
The twin could hear the despair in his voice. He wanted to explain now, but perhaps, in his state of mind it would be best. There was no use talking if there was no comprehension. He needed to talk to Aeryn.  
  
xxxxx  
  
He didn't like what he was observing. This was not the way they had planned it. He would have to call the council together and decide what to do to rectify the problem.  
  
xxxxx  
  
Aeryn was pacing nervously back and forth in command, distracting D'Argo.  
  
"Aeryn, please stop, it doesn't help. You are only managing to annoy me now." The Luxan rolled his eyes, his impatience growing over the situation. He would be surprised if things went well with the twin. 'What did they expect?' He asked himself, wishing he could propose the question to them. There was so much he had to say, but couldn't. it would only make matters worse. All he could do was be there for his friend.  
  
Both heads shot up as they heard the footsteps enter command. Aeryn ran over to John, breathing deeply. "Well?" She asked, hope filling her voice. John looked at her for a moment, only to step away and slowly walk towards the view screen in silence.  
  
D'Argo's eyes followed his movements; sure he was correct about their meeting.  
  
Aeryn looked at D'Argo, the worry clear on her face. She looked back to John, still frozen to the spot, his back to her.  
  
"He doesn't want to talk to me now," John said simply. What he heard and saw he would keep to himself, knowing the pain went deeper than he even thought. He needed to find out why he had changed so much before he would try to talk to him again.  
  
John turned and faced them, his hands on his hips. "He's a very bitter man." The sadness for his twin carried in his voice, surprising the Luxan. "I need to know what happened to him in the two cycles I've been gone. It's important." He saw the veiled looks on their faces, unsettled by it. If he didn't get the answer from them, he would see Chiana. She was always willing to talk.  
  
Aeryn saw the determined look on his face. She knew he wouldn't give up until he was satisfied. "Very well, John. D'Argo and I will tell you, but you must swear not to tell.him." Aeryn shocked herself, staggering slightly, catching herself on the wall. She couldn't believe she had called John. him. 'By all that is holy, help me,' she prayed to herself, her eyes closed, feeling the Luxan's hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Aeryn, are you alright?" D'Argo asked, seeing the look on her face.  
  
Aeryn opened them and stared at the Luxan. "No D'Argo, but I will be," she replied to him, continuing, "John do I have your promise?"  
  
John nodded, approaching the console where the two stood. "Just tell me."  
  
xxxxx  
  
John returned to his quarters. He walked into the water closet and picked up some cloths to clean his forehead. The coolness felt good against his head, holding them there a few minutes before removing them to get a closer look at the cut. He saw the bleeding had stopped, but felt a huge headache coming on.  
  
John dropped the cloths and walked back into the room, picking up his flight bag. He was stuffing the bag when he heard a knock on the door. John turned to see Chiana standing at the entrance. He smiled for her, "What's up Chi?"  
  
She walked into the cell, watching him before she spoke. "Where are you going John?" Chiana questioned, looking at his bag and then his face. "This is your home."  
  
"No Pip, just a place to lay your body at night. I'll be around, don't worry," he stated as a fact. Just being in the room and smelling Aeryn's lingering scent was becoming too much for him. The move would be good for him.  
  
"Promise me you're not leaving! If anybody has to go he does. Besides how do we really know he's really who he says he is?" Chiana was panicking, thinking the worst.  
  
John stopped and sighed, turning to her. "As much as I hate to admit it, it's him and you know it. But don't worry Pip, I'm just moving to another cell.it's easier that way," John replied quietly, turning back to his task.  
  
Chiana hugged him from behind. "You know I love you Crichton."  
  
John dropped his bag, her words breaking him, reaching up with both arms, placing his on hers. "Why do I always lose?" He whispered, the tears slowly sliding from his eyes, his heart breaking into a thousand pieces, never to be whole again.  
  
Chiana pulled her arms away and turned him, embracing him tightly in her arms. "Don't hold it in John, let go. It's ok," she said in a soothing voice, caressing the back of his neck. She felt the sobs rack his body, her own following. Chiana eased him down to the bed, rocking him gently in her arms. They were so deep into each other, neither of them noticed Aeryn standing in the doorway, watching.  
  
Aeryn backed out quickly, leaving them alone, choking back her own tears at the sight of someone else comforting him. She felt her back meet with the wall in the corridor, sighing deeply. Aeryn quietly walked away allowing them their privacy.  
  
xxxxx  
  
  
  
The council convened quickly, understanding the urgency of this meeting. They watched as they were instructed by the keeper. The head councilmen rose, disappointed by what he had witnessed.  
  
"You were correct to call us immediately. This was not the plan. Perhaps we failed in our preparation. I think it is time to reach the other as we did before. This is the only way I know to reverse the damage. Are we in agreement?"  
  
All heads in the room nodded. "Very good," he said turning to the keeper. "We shall proceed with this course for now. Please keep us informed. it is of utmost importance for this to be successful."  
  
The keeper nodded fully understanding.  
  
  
  
xxxxx  
  
D'Argo and John were still talking in command. Aeryn had let D'Argo finish telling him about his twin's past. The subject had become too painful for her, remembering how she had left him, isolated and alone. She decided to leave the room, having no desire to relive it again.  
  
John was leaning on his propped arm, fingering the table, deep in thought. "So.after all that.he still wanted her," John said more as a statement than a question. "Damn, he's been through hell!"  
  
"I would say so, John. She.was the hope he held onto, the only reason I think he managed," D'Argo replied quietly, still sorry about betraying his friend's past.  
  
"I know the feeling, D. She's mine also," John said softly, glancing at the Luxan before rising to his feet. Leaning down, his hands flat on the table, he looked directly into D'Argo's face. "I love her too."  
  
D'Argo stared at him. There was only sincerity in John's eyes, the Luxan having no doubt he spoke the truth. "I am aware of that John, which is why we have a problem. Aeryn can only be with one of you."  
  
"That is a choice I will make! Or maybe I don't want either one of you!" Aeryn stated, standing stiffly in the entrance. "This has become too frelled!" She turned her back on them and marched out of command.  
  
John and D'Argo stood there stunned, not understanding what brought on her response. John started to go after her, but D'Argo grabbed his arm. "Perhaps she needs to be alone for a few arns, John. This hasn't been easy on her either."  
  
John nodded, stepping back. "How do we settle this D?"  
  
D'Argo gripped him on the shoulder. "Perhaps we can't," he said, his shoulders slumped, slowly walking out of command.  
  
"Frell!" The human whispered under his breath, frustrated, feeling he was in a no win situation. Someone would have to lose; he only hoped it wouldn't be him.  
  
xxxxx  
  
Aeryn retreated to her quarters. She palmed the door shut and pulled the privacy curtain wanting to be by herself. There was so much she had to think about and needed rest. She decided to sleep first, hoping when she woke her mind would be clearer.  
  
She lay down on the cot and closed her eyes. Her thoughts flashed vividly through her mind, sleep becoming out of the question. She tried to pushing them away, but gave up when they became worse. Aeryn rose wearily and took her cup from the table. Reaching over to the shelf, she picked up one of the teas Zhaan had given her cycles ago to help her sleep. Mixing the leaves with water, Aeryn sipped it, savoring its comforting warmth, feeling herself relax.  
  
She felt her eyelids getting heavy, returning to her bed. Aeryn laid on her side and pulled the blanket up, her lids closing.  
  
The deep sleep was disturbed now by voices that were familiar to her.  
  
[She was awake, looking around her, knowing she had been in this room before, but not why or when. She stared wide-eyed when she saw the figure appear before her. "Jack!" She uttered in surprise.  
  
"Welcome back, Aeryn Sun," he said smiling. "It has been sometime since we last met."  
  
"You died, I saw." Aeryn stammered, not sure what to believe. John had died, yet he was back.  
  
"Things are not always as they seem, remember that, Aeryn," the Ancient replied, directing her towards a screen. "Please, there is something I must show you."  
  
Aeryn obliged, feeling she was in a trance, hoping any microt from now she would wake in her room. Jack activated the screen. What she saw caused her jaw to drop, her skin growing paler by the microt. The screen turned black. Aeryn staggered back, her breathing jagged. Jack laid his arms on her shoulders, relaxing her with his touch.  
  
"I know the shock you must feel, but it is the truth. This is why we have called you. We need your help. You can see what will happen if we don't reverse this."  
  
"B.but I can't," Aeryn gasped, her heart constricting. What he asked of her was inconceivable.  
  
Jack nodded, understanding. "Answer only one question, Aeryn Sun. Are you prepared to take that risk?"  
  
Aeryn paled, pulling herself out of his grasp. All she could feel was panic as the thoughts sailed through her head.  
  
"The decision is yours," Jack stated. "You have seen the consequences."  
  
Aeryn dropped her head, feeling only hatred for the Ancients. They had done nothing but use them, causing them only pain. She knew it was necessary, but Aeryn had her own conditions.  
  
Looking up at the Ancient she replied, "I will do it as long as you promise me you won't bother us again."  
  
Jack smiled. "Of course, Aeryn Sun. There will be no further need."] 


	3. Ripples In Time Part Three

Ripples In Time By: Can (lucyc_23455@yahoo.com) Spoilers: Up through Unrealized Realities Rating: PG Disclaimer: I don't own them  
  
Many thanks to gbbarb for reading  
  
  
  
Part 3  
  
  
  
Chiana walked with John to his new quarters, helping him with the few belongings he owned. Entering the cell, Chiana said, her voice light for him, "Pilot and the DRD's did a good job with the room, John. It's just like your old one." She saw the sudden gloom settle over him, realizing what she said, only too late to retract it. He didn't want the cell to remind him of his old one. It would only keep the memories constant. "Um.maybe I'll ask Pilot to prepare another one."  
  
John held up his hand, appreciating her understanding. "It's ok, Pip. This one will be fine," he replied, moving to put his things away. He worked in silence, each piece being placed in the same spot as they had been in his former quarters for over six arns.  
  
Chiana observed his mechanical movements, seeing the dazed look on his face. "John?" She asked, worried he was shutting down. Chiana had seen that look before and it scared her, remembering when they had found him on Elack.  
  
John finished arranging his room. The tiredness crept over him, only wanting to rest, walking towards his bed, contemplating a dreamless sleep. "Chiana, I just need some sleep now," he said, curling up in his new bed, pulling the covers up.  
  
"You want me to stay?" She asked, willing to sit with him, the worry written on her face.  
  
"I'll be fine," John said, his eyes closing, the physical and mental exhaustion commanding him.  
  
She leaned down and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I'll see you when you wake up then," Chiana said softly.  
  
"Than." The sleep that had been beckoning finally took him, his words never fully forming.  
  
Chiana knelt beside him, caressing his cheek. "Sleep well, old man." She rose from the floor, feeling only sadness for him. "Don't give up," she whispered, lowering her head and exiting his cell.  
  
xxxxx  
  
  
  
D'Argo walked through Moya's corridors in deep thought; the question the other John asked haunting him. 'What if there really wasn't an answer? What the frell would they do?' He knew the two couldn't co-exist on the same ship. Just the little time they had been together cycles ago had caused nothing but tension for everyone. He almost ran into Chiana as he rounded the last corridor, stopping short.  
  
"Where are you going, D'Argo?" She asked, snickering at the surprised look on his face. Chiana had gone back and looked over John's cell to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything.  
  
"I was on my way to see John," he replied, straightening his clothes. "I haven't seen him since last night when I broke the news to him."  
  
"Well he's moved, D'Argo. Pilot readied another room for him," Chiana stated, knowing the Luxan was as sad as she was over this. "John wanted it that way."  
  
The Luxan growled. "This is his home! He shouldn't have to move!" D'Argo moved past her having to see for himself. He stopped in the entrance, dropping his head when he saw no trace of the human in the cell. D'Argo stepped out quickly, leaning his back against the wall, closing his eyes. "Frell!" He shouted, his frustration mounting.  
  
Chiana's heart went out to him, knowing he felt deeply for his friend. Even though they never continued with their relationship after his son left, Chiana still had a special place in her heart for him. She was sure he did also.  
  
Chiana raised her hand to touch his face, calming him. "D'Argo it's ok. I know where he is, but he's sleeping now," she replied, seeing him lay one of his on top of hers.  
  
D'Argo looked down at her, still holding her hand. "Chiana, we can't let him sink again. He may never recover this time. Take me to him," he answered, the anger washed out of his voice.  
  
Chiana looked into his eyes, only to see fear. She knew this was not normal for D'Argo. He always told her warriors never displayed this, whether they felt it or not. Perhaps the human had touched him more than she had thought. "Come with me," she said, leading him by the hand.  
  
xxxxx  
  
Aeryn jolted awake, the sweat pouring off her. She gasped trying to catch her breath, finally breathing deeply, feeling as if she had been running.  
  
The dream came crashing down on her, feeling like it was going to smother her once again. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, trying to get some control back. Aeryn carefully rose, not sure her legs would support her, moving towards the wash basin. She needed something cool. She needed to think clearer. She needed..  
  
Aeryn hit the basin, the water spilling out as she tried to steady herself. Reaching into the bowl she gathered the wetness in her cupped hands and splashed it on her face, relishing the coolness.  
  
"Frell me," Aeryn whispered, shaking now, reaching for the towel, fully awake, knowing this dream was real, just like the other ones.  
  
Aeryn walked slowly back to her bed and sat on the edge of it. She pulled the blanket around her, staring out, thinking about what she had seen. It frightened her horribly. She knew there was no mistake, because the earlier ones had come true.her John returning. Aeryn shivered under the warmth of the blanket, holding herself. "How can I possibly do this?" She questioned, knowing they wouldn't answer. She was on her own.  
  
They had shown her and now it was up to her. Aeryn shrugged off the blanket and slowly rose to her feet, wishing it were all a nightmare.  
  
Swallowing hard, she opened her comm, dreading what was to come. "Pilot, where is the. other.John?" The words were more difficult than she thought they would be.  
  
"Aeryn, he is still in command," Pilot replied. "Ka D'Argo informed us he needed to tend to something." Pilot was relieved she hadn't asked about their John. He didn't want to have to lie to her.  
  
"Thank you, Pilot. Please ask John to wait for me there," Aeryn stated, her voice weary from the disturbed sleep.  
  
Aeryn quickly left her quarters, needing to be alone with John right now. She only hoped D'Argo and Chiana were busy for the microt. Rygel she didn't need to worry about, he'd be eating again at this time of day.  
  
She walked along the corridors, running her hand against Moya's walls, pleading in her mind for some wisdom. Aeryn wanted to remember what Zhaan always said, opening her mind to allow the words to penetrate. She felt a warmth come over, her heart opening, remembering Zhaan's peacefulness and what she had sacrificed for them. Aeryn relaxed, feeling stronger for what lay ahead. She lifted her head, chin up as she entered command.  
  
Aeryn saw him and stopped. She took him in as her heart broke, remembering the time they spent together. It was real and no matter what, it was special. She would always hold onto that. Aeryn knew now she never had to let it go, it was hers to always hold close to her heart.  
  
"John," she said simply, standing in the entrance. "We need to talk."  
  
John turned with a smile on his face. He noticed the somber look on hers, his smile turning into a frown. "What's the matter, babe?" He asked starting towards her.  
  
Aeryn held up her hand. "No, John, stop there."  
  
He did as she asked, not wanting to upset her. "What the frell is wrong now?" John asked, chuckling. "Don't tell me it's the other one."  
  
Aeryn smiled sheepishly, "No John, it's not that," she replied, wishing for a miracle to stop her from having to do this. She slowly walked closer to him, digging deep inside for strength.  
  
As she drew closer, John saw the look in her eyes. He dropped his head, not able to meet them. "You know. don't you," he said, his voice full of anguish, feeling someone had stolen his timeline.  
  
"Yes," Aeryn whispered, her voice pained, her eyes tearing. "Th..they.came.," the lump in her throat growing with each word.  
  
He said the only thing that would meet his lips, the tears glistening in his eyes as he met hers. "I love you, Aeryn Sun. now. forever. and always."  
  
She smiled as the tears soaked her face, taking his face in her hands. "I know."  
  
Aeryn embraced him tightly, their tears mingling, their love still strong. They held each other for a quarter of an arn, Aeryn finally breaking away.  
  
Wiping the tears away from both their faces, she said softly, "You have never been away from my heart and you never will."  
  
John smiled softly, caressing her face, content with the love he had, knowing it was time. "Ready, Aeryn? It's up to me now," he said, the smile still on his face. He was longing inside, but he couldn't let her see that. It was time for him to do what he was destined for.  
  
xxxxx  
  
  
  
He nodded; pleased she was doing what was necessary. His superiors would receive a positive report on the situation, relieved they had allowed him the authority to direct this unexpected setback. He only hoped nothing else stepped into their path.  
  
xxxxx  
  
D'Argo stepped into John's new quarters. He saw the sleeping figure, determined it would not be this way. D'Argo walked over to the bed and shook John roughly. He would wake up and fight for what he wanted.  
  
Chiana hurried behind D'Argo, surprised at what the Luxan was doing. She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away. "Leave him the frell alone, D'Argo. He needs the sleep!"  
  
D'Argo spun around and faced her. "I know John hurts inside, but nothing will ever get better if he just sleeps. We saw that happen before, Chiana, and look what it did to him," the Luxan expressed, determined not to let it happen again. He knew his friend would be angry, but so be it.  
  
Chiana nodded, dropping her hand from his arm. "You're right. I'm sorry D'Argo, I wasn't thinking," she replied walking towards the closet. "Wait here." She emerged with a glass of water, knowing a sure way to wake the human since he wasn't responding to D'Argo.  
  
Leaning over John, Chiana warned D'Argo. "You might want to step back." D'Argo nodded puzzled by the glass. Chiana had never tried this, she only remembered John talking about it when he spoke of jokes on Erp. She tilted the glass over his face and emptied it upon him, soaking him and the bed covers.  
  
John shot up gulping for breath. He started coughing when some of the water entered his mouth choking him. Clearing his lungs, he swung his legs over the side of the cot and looked up at Chiana with anger in his eyes. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He shouted, watching Chiana put some distance between herself and him.  
  
D'Argo was shocked that Chiana had thought of this, suppressing the smile that threatened. She never ceased to amaze him. The Luxan cleared his throat and spoke. "She was only trying to wake you John since you didn't respond to me."  
  
"And who the hell said I wanted to wake up?" He snapped, turning his head towards the Luxan. "Maybe I like it this way!" John rose to his feet and brushed past D'Argo, reaching for the towel to dry himself off. John lowered his voice, leaning his hands on the table. "So what the frell is so important that you had to wake me? I'm sure Johnny boy can take care of whatever it is."  
  
D'Argo heard the bitterness in his voice. He sighed before he spoke. "John, you have to face this. now. You are only pushing Aeryn into his arms by acting this way."  
  
John chuckled sarcastically, staring at the wall. "You got that wrong D. She made that choice the first night he came aboard." Every muscle in John's body tightened thinking of her in his arms again. He fingered his lip, the pain running deep. He pulled away from the table unable to think about it anymore.  
  
D'Argo and Chiana watched him as he reached for a fresh T, picking up the black one, only to stare at it for a microt before flinging it away. John rummaged through all his shirts until he was satisfied, donning the green one from before. "Wouldn't want her to get us mixed up." His words were full of sarcasm, his soul consumed by hatred for the hand fate dealt him. "I think I'm going to get something to eat," he said, not caring whether the others followed or not.  
  
Chiana and D'Argo looked at each other speechless. When they saw John put the shirt on it dredged up disturbing memories from the past, ones they only wanted to forget. Why did John want to remember?  
  
Baffled, they followed him from a distance to the center chamber, knowing he needed some space as the human called it.  
  
Rygel was the only one in the chamber as John entered. John ignored him, having nothing to say. The Hynerian watched the human fix his plate and take a place at the table, never once looking at him.  
  
"So which one are you?" Rygel asked bluntly, wanting to know who he was sharing a meal with.  
  
John looked up snickering. "Can't you tell?" He asked, pulling on the shirt. Conversation wasn't something he was interested in. He just wanted to eat in peace and think.  
  
"Oh!" Rygel said quietly, wishing he hadn't asked. He got the distinct impression it was best to eat in silence at this microt.  
  
He was relieved when he saw Chiana and D'Argo enter the room. "I'm glad you are here. Now I can converse civilly with someone!" Crichton's demeanor insulted Rygel. He was a Dominar after all.  
  
D'Argo and Chiana looked at him hastily and said at the same time. "Shut up Rygel!"  
  
The indignation rose in Rygel. "I do not have to put up with this! I can easily eat in my quarters!" He rose in the throne sled and exited the chamber.  
  
John sat back, dropping the food cube, looking at the ceiling. "Damn! I didn't mean to insult the little guy!" He knew Rygel didn't mean any harm. It was him, edgy over Aeryn. "I sure bring out the best in everyone these days," John stated, closing his eyes, wishing he could have the last two cycles back to do all over again. He had failed somewhere along the line, only where he didn't know. But he must have for Aeryn to be willing to drop him so easily.  
  
"John it's not your fault. Rygel has a way about him. He's.um. offending," D'Argo said for lack of a better word.  
  
John abruptly rose from his chair, knocking it over in the process. "No D, it's my fault, just like this is," he stated, picking up the chair. "It's time I see him again.way past," John replied, dreading the encounter, but knowing it had to be this way. If he screwed up, he at least wanted to know why. Only Aeryn could tell him and he wanted the truth. It was the only thing that might possibly help him now.  
  
Chiana stared at him. "Are you sure you want to do this, Crichton?" She only feared for him. This could be the worse thing for him, seeing the two of them together.  
  
"I'm sure, Chi. D'Argo was right all along." John had finally let D's words penetrate, knowing they held nothing but truth. It was time he moved beyond his fears.  
  
D'Argo tapped his comm, pleased that John was willing to face the inevitable. "Pilot, can you tell me where the other John is?"  
  
"D'Argo it seems they are headed towards your location," Pilot replied. He wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing. Pilot notified the DRD's, especially 1812 to head to the chamber and monitor their behavior.  
  
Just microts after Pilot disclosed their location; Aeryn and John entered the room. Their John wasn't prepared as he felt his legs give out, lowering himself to his seat. This wasn't the way he wanted to meet his twin, but it was better than lying on the floor.  
  
All parties looked intensely at each other, Aeryn speaking first. "I felt it was time for all of us to meet," she said dryly, glancing at the John who had been on Moya, knowing it wasn't like him to be sitting at a microt like this.  
  
D'Argo and Chiana nodded, acknowledging their presence. John was the only one who looked away as if they didn't exist, the pain coming back in throes, feeling his breath catch in his throat. Hearing about him and seeing him were two different things, John realized now, knowing he wasn't ready for this moment. He labored to breathe, the harsh reality hitting home.  
  
Aeryn realized the shock that had overcome John, running to his side. His mouth was open wide, trying to pull in the air his body was suddenly deprived of. "Close your mouth John," she commanded, remembering his physiology. "Breathe through your nose only!"  
  
John did as she instructed, only wanting to refuse her help, but knowing he couldn't. She was the only one who knew about the human body anymore. The rest had died or left Moya. 1812 sidled up to him, calming him with his prattle. John took a deep even breath and settled the roaring in his heart, knowing he had gotten past the worst.  
  
Aeryn saw the color come back into his cheeks, rising to her feet. "There is much we have to discuss, John," she said sincerely. She understood he didn't trust her anymore, but this was one time he would have to if they wanted the universe to survive.  
  
John rested his head in his hands, trying to compose himself before dealing with his twin. The other John saw the grief he felt and took a seat across the table from him.  
  
"John, I'm here. in front of you. take your time," he said, realizing the torment he must have put him through returning after all this time. Their love was the same, only he didn't have the right to it anymore. How could he have done this to his own?  
  
"Can we please be alone, Chiana and D'Argo? There is much the twins must say and do." Aeryn saw the skeptical looks on their faces, but knew she couldn't explain it to them. She couldn't divulge what she knew.even to them. "Trust me," she said, her eyes pleading for their cooperation.  
  
Chiana reached across the table, finding John's hand, taking it into her own. "Do you want us to leave, John?" She asked softly, ready to do whatever he asked. The twin saw the interaction, remembering the days when he had it, knowing it could only be a memory for him. John was luckier than he knew. For now he would at least still be able to feel their touch in the cycles to come. In so many ways he envied him, but at the same time, he had experienced Aeryn's love and that was a gift in itself. He would cherish it always.  
  
John lifted his head and looked around the room, focusing on each face. He felt surprised when he didn't feel threatened by his twin. Hesitantly he said, staring at his twin, "Sure guys, go ahead. I'll be fine here." John was surprised by his own words, relaxing in his seat, unable to take his eyes off his twin.  
  
Aeryn watched the others leave before proceeding. "John, I know you don't trust my love anymore, but there is something larger here that we must deal with," she said, standing away from both of them. She knew how he must have viewed the other night, feeling only sorrow for the words she had used, but he wouldn't understand now if she tried to explain.  
  
John laughed hysterically, the tears streaming from his laughter and his pain. When the laughter stopped he looked at her, his eyes red. "Ya think so Aeryn? Damn I can't imagine why," he said, looking away, staring down at the table. She had taken his heart and once again betrayed it. There wasn't much more he could take in the frelled universe he lived in. "Screw you," he mumbled, not willing to let her take anymore of him.  
  
Aeryn winced, hearing his final words, but not blaming him for them.  
  
The other John couldn't let her take anymore blame, seeing how the words had cut through her. "John, listen to me. Nothing happened between Aeryn and me last night. We only talked.unfortunately," John replied, looking up at Aeryn, his eyes warm with love, wishing they could have had at least a night together.  
  
Aeryn thanked him with her eyes; wishing things hadn't turned out so frelled. John didn't believe any of what he heard. They would sooner lie to him than tell the truth. He knew they wanted something so they would never tell him what really happened. "Sure, and I'm supposed to believe that," he said, his voice dull, all emotion spent. He found he couldn't blame him anymore since they loved the same person. All he could do was wonder why she felt the need to be with him.  
  
"Believe it, John. It's the truth. Aeryn loves you and couldn't betray what you have had for the last two cycles," the other John replied. "It was best for you, but not for me. I was willing to win her over again," he said smiling, a twinkle in his eye for Aeryn. She noticed it bringing a huge smile to her lips, her eyes lighting up in happiness.  
  
"It's true, John. But now we must get to work. Are you ready?" Aeryn asked, hoping she had won back some trust.  
  
John believed them for some reason, not really sure why. What he did know was there was some urgency to what they wanted. Whatever it was he knew he would cooperate, people didn't come back just for the hell of it he reasoned in his mind.  
  
There was a long pause as John contemplated the question. "What the hell do you want from me?"  
  
  
  
Part four tomorrow 


	4. Ripples In Time Part Four

Ripples In Time By: Can (lucyc_23455@yahoo.com) Spoilers: Up through Unrealized Reality Rating: PG Disclaimer: I don't own them  
  
Thanks to gbbarb for reading  
  
Part 4  
  
"There isn't much time. In a few arns a dreadnought will be within range. It will be up to you lead us through a wormhole and make it disappear before the Scarran vessel can follow." Aeryn answered, hoping she made some sense to John. It was important if they wanted to survive.  
  
John looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "What. you see the future now?" He shifted in his seat, turning his back to her. "Come up with something better than that, Aeryn, and maybe I'll listen," he replied dismissing her, still not sure what they were up to. He lifted himself to his feet, ready to leave the center chamber. "Call me when you have a new story."  
  
The other John quickly jumped to his feet and met him at the corner of the table grabbing his arm. "No, you have to listen," he said with urgency in his voice.  
  
John glanced down at his arm where his twin was holding him. He looked at the other one, the malice showing in his eyes. In a low threatening voice, John said through gritted teeth, "Let go of me!" He pulled his arm back quickly, glaring at him. Tilting his head to the side he added, "Don't ever. do that again."  
  
The other John held both his hands up, knowing it was the wrong move. "Just.just.don't go. Somehow, we have to make you understand! You've got to trust us, John," he said, wishing the Ancients could help them. He knew John would believe them.  
  
Aeryn saw this was not working. John still didn't trust either of them. She tapped her comm, "Pilot are you picking anything up on your long range scanners?"  
  
John turned and locked eyes with Aeryn, waiting for Pilot to answer. She stared at him, the softness in hers still there for him. He turned quickly, unable to bear the pain it caused him. She couldn't love both of them and he was sure he wasn't the one. John started to leave, when Pilot's voice stopped him in mid-step.  
  
Pilot finally answered, surprised, but sure his readings were correct. "Officer Sun, I have already notified Ka D'Argo. we have a Scarran dreadnought several arns away, heading in our direction. This is not good," Pilot replied, checking his console for further readings. "We cannot out run this vessel."  
  
The twin walked around the table to stand beside Aeryn. They saw John's shoulders hunched over as he leaned his arm against the wall, still facing the exit. In a voice barely above a whisper, John croaked, "How the hell did you know?" He turned to them, a confused look on his face. The fact Aeryn and the twin were together didn't phase him at the moment. The dreadnought and the fact they knew was the problem. He tilted his head, "The Ancients?"  
  
"You got it John," The twin said, relieved they had finally gotten through to him. "We don't have much time. I need you.to cooperate or we're all sunk," he said, pointing his finger at him, taking over.  
  
"Aeryn!" D'Argo shouted through his comms. Chiana and I are in command! We need you here, now," the Luxan said, knowing every microt they delayed could prove disastrous for them.  
  
Aeryn's head shot up, knowing what the Luxan was thinking. "No, D'Argo! It's not time yet. If we do it now, they will find us again," Aeryn replied. "You have to trust me.I know what I am doing!"  
  
The twin looked at Aeryn. "I think you'd better go babe. D doesn't always listen, especially when he doesn't understand." He didn't want Aeryn to leave yet, but he knew she was needed elsewhere.  
  
Aeryn nodded and headed to the exit. She turned before stepping into the corridor. "John, just do whatever he says," she said, both men's eyes on her back as she left the chamber. She had to stop D'Argo before it was too late.  
  
John rubbed his eyes, not believing the dren he was hearing. "So.what now?" He asked simply, stepping toward his twin. "And if you don't mind, keep the babe stuff out." John only felt the twist of the knife burrow deeper when he called her that.  
  
The twin stopped to think about what he said, smiling to himself. "Just a slip of the tongue.I'll try not to let it happen again," he said, not sorry at all for using this endearment. Getting back to business, the twin ordered John to sit and let him explain. For some reason he wasn't even sure of, he did exactly as his twin said.  
  
xxxxx  
  
"How much longer? It seems as if he has been there longer than we had been planned."  
  
The keeper nodded his head in ascent. "It should be over soon. The dreadnought has been picked up on their scanners and he is already at work on the human. Once the knowledge is in place, we can safely withdraw."  
  
"Very well. Keep me informed," the head of the council stated, folding his arms in his robes and walking away.  
  
xxxxx  
  
Aeryn ran into command not stopping until she was in front of the console. The Luxan was talking to Pilot about starburst.  
  
"D'Argo, I told you we couldn't yet!" Aeryn argued, her voice strained. If they left too soon all would be lost, but she couldn't tell him and the rest of the crew. The fear of mistakes on their part was too great.  
  
"Pilot agrees with me, Aeryn!" D'Argo shouted back, frustrated with her. "Aeryn what the frell is the matter with you?" He asked, grasping her by the shoulders. "You know we can't be here when the Scarrans arrive. They will destroy Moya!"  
  
Aeryn pulled away and looked to the clamshell. "Pilot!" Her voice was frantic, knowing there was only one other she could try to reason with. "I need to speak with you now.in private!" She said, glancing at the Luxan.  
  
Pilot was disturbed by her behavior. He knew she must have her reasons for protesting so vehemently. Pilot sighed, willing to listen. "Very well, Officer Sun, I will see you in my den."  
  
"I'm sorry D'Argo, I can't let you do this," she stated, flying out of the room towards Pilot's den, the Luxan growling behind her.  
  
Aeryn knew she had to convince Pilot quickly; time wasn't on their side anymore. Every time they seemed to get ahead, something set them back on their heels. She feared Pilot would think her fahrbot and not reverse his decision. If this happened she wouldn't be able to stop the horrible future she had witnessed, nor the misery of the two Johns.  
  
She slid around the corner of Pilot's den, grabbing her knees, needing a microt to catch her breath. Aeryn held her hand up to Pilot to signal him. "Take your time, Officer Sun," he replied, still studying his scanners. He could not let the Scarran vessel sneak up on them, knowing they changed their speed many times. For now it seemed they were still safe, the vessel unaware they had been detected.  
  
Aeryn righted herself, approaching the console, still breathing heavily. "Pilot, thank you for giving me this time. I am going to be honest with you but you must not tell the others," Aeryn said praying Pilot agreed.  
  
Pilot studied her face for a microt, seeing fear in it. Whatever she had to tell him, he knew it was important. "Very well, Officer Sun, please proceed."  
  
Aeryn told him everything; from the dreams about John's return to her most recent encounter with the Ancients. She explained why starburst had to happen at a certain microt. Aeryn was exhausted when she finally finished, staring at Pilot, hoping he believed her.  
  
Considering all the strange things that had happened on Moya recently, Pilot asked one question. "Aeryn, do you have any proof the Ancients are involved?"  
  
Aeryn dropped her head in defeat. "No, Pilot, just the other John." She raised her head, her eyes imploring him. "How could he be if it weren't for the Ancients, Pilot? Answer me that."  
  
"I.I.cannot," Pilot replied, thinking again about her story. He had never known Aeryn to mislead him or Moya. Quietly he said, "For now we will do it your way.but if anything changes with the Scarrans, we will have to risk the consequences. I will not let Moya be destroyed."  
  
"Nor I, Pilot," Aeryn replied, relieved he saw fit to give her the chance. "Thank you, Pilot, I won't let you down." She exited the den and headed back to command, ready for the next step.  
  
xxxxx  
  
John listened to his twin, never interrupting him, the story so far fetched, he started laughing when the twin finished. "You really expect me to believe that dren?" He questioned laughing aloud.  
  
The twin never cracked a smile, allowing him to get it out of his system, sure he had taken in every word.  
  
John's laughter ceased as he saw the somber look on the other's face, realizing he was serious. He pushed himself up from the table, running his hand through his hair, thinking. Turning swiftly on the other he said, "Ok.ok.say it's true. How are we going to stop it?" John asked walking back and forth in front of the table, using his hands to express himself.  
  
His twin rose from the table, approaching him. He slapped his hand on his shoulder. "That's my department. I gotta a plan," the other John replied, resigned to the inevitable.  
  
"You sound like me now, but I sure hope yours work better than mine, or we're really screwed," John replied, feeling like he wasn't sparring with an enemy anymore.  
  
"I am you, John, and you are me. We just have different memories, but I'm going to help you with that. You need mine to carry on," the twin replied, smiling. "That's why I came back."  
  
"So you're telling me.you came here to help.me," John replied, pointing his finger at himself. "Me?" He asked again, just to make sure he heard him right.  
  
"Damn, John, you're quick aren't ya?" The other asked, the humor clear in his voice. The twin sobered, saying quietly, "Just don't forget. I'll always love her."  
  
"I don't think I could forget even if I tried." The twin could hear the despair surface in his voice, understanding how painful this had to be for him.  
  
"It'll be over soon, John. It's time we moved to your quarters. The others can't be around for this, not even Aeryn."  
  
xxxxx  
  
The silence in command was stifling. D'Argo felt Aeryn's presence as soon as she walked in. He ignored her, feeling betrayed, showing her lack of trust by only telling Pilot. They had fought alongside each other for arns and now she didn't feel she could trust him.  
  
Aeryn knew D'Argo was hurt but there was not much she could do about it. Standing beside the Luxan she apologized. He still didn't respond, angering Aeryn. "D'Argo, I have always told you everything.this time I can't!" She shouted, frustrated over all that she was responsible for. If things didn't go right it would be her fault and that she couldn't allow.  
  
Walking towards the view screen, his silence oppressive, Aeryn heard his words behind her. "Since when, Aeryn? You could tell Pilot, but not me?" The hurt radiated from D'Argo's voice, not understanding any of what had happened since that fateful night the other John appeared.  
  
Dropping her head, wishing things could be different, Aeryn said simply, "Not this time D'Argo. I will explain later, that's all I can do," she said softly, knowing the hurt she had brought on all of them.  
  
"Well, you have your reprieve. Pilot says I am to wait for him, now," D'Argo replied bitterly. "I just hope you know what you are doing!" The Luxan stated, dismissing her and returning his focus back to the console.  
  
  
  
xxxxx  
  
"Where are we going?" John asked, following the other John through Moya's corridors. They entered tier eleven, surprising John, knowing the only thing that was here. "How did you know?"  
  
"What? That you changed quarters?" The twin asked, an amused look on his face.  
  
John nodded, walking into his new cell.  
  
"I told you, we are the same. If you concentrate enough you will answer your own questions," the twin replied. He thought John would have figured it out by now, the scientist that he was, but maybe he didn't want to believe it all could be happening again. Denial was nothing but a dangerous mistake.  
  
John was starting to get uncomfortable, still not totally convinced. The other one seemed so sure of himself, he felt inadequate compared to him. No wonder Aeryn had chosen him. It was obvious now.  
  
"Take a load off your feet," the other said, wanting to relax him. He needed him fully focused and open minded for this to work. He pulled the chair from the table, pointing to it, him taking the other one and pulling it over next to John.  
  
The other John opened his comm, "Aeryn do the others have their channels open?" He asked, needing a private moment with her.  
  
Aeryn's voice caught in her throat, knowing what this meant. As she turned she saw their eyes upon her, knowing they had heard the transmission. Struggling with her words, she said. "Please.could you cut them off for a microt.John and I have something to discuss in.private."  
  
D'Argo was ready to debate when he saw the crest fallen look on her face. He knew something was wrong so he did as she asked. Tapping his comm he spoke to Pilot, his eyes never leaving her face. "Please stop all communication, Pilot, except for John and Aeryn's."  
  
"Very well, D'Argo," Pilot replied. What they had discussed was starting. He knew this would not be easy on any of them, but they were left with no choice.  
  
D'Argo nodded. "It's only you and him now, Aeryn," he said quietly, feeling Chiana join him at the console. She had a bad feeling something was about to happen.  
  
xxxxx  
  
Aeryn walked out of command, hiding her face as she passed the Luxan and Nebari, the dread she felt, transparent. She wouldn't be able to stand any questions or sympathy from them. That would only tear her apart, weakening her resolve. Standing one corridor down from command, she notified John the channels were clear.  
  
The other John stepped away from the table and walked to the entrance, turning to John, "be back in a minute. There's something I need to say in private.I'm sure you understand."  
  
John nodded once in ascent realizing his intentions. He didn't know if he could do it if it were him. There were so many things he lacked that the other had acquired, it made him feel inferior. Maybe this wasn't the way it should be after all.  
  
The other John, leaned his head against the supports for the door, trying to find the words he wanted to tell her. The words she would always remember and keep close to her heart.  
  
He heard Aeryn's voice, his heart aching to touch her one last time. "Yeah, babe, I'm here. Just finding it a little hard to talk right now," he replied, his eyes watering, thinking of what they had. "Did I ever tell you how much you rock my world?" He stopped, sniffling slightly, the tears escaping slowly.  
  
Aeryn heard the ache in his voice, only wanting to cry out. 'Wrong.this is wrong,' but she knew she couldn't because it wasn't. Even knowing this didn't make it any easier for either of them. "Not a day went by that you didn't," she replied, wistfully, smiling and remembering. "I love you, John." The tears she had fought so hard to keep at bay were now streaming down her face. Her knees buckled as she lowered herself to the floor, thankful he couldn't see her.  
  
"Aeryn I'll always love you. Just remember what we had and carry that in your heart. You'll be fine, besides this guy loves you the same way. How can you lose?" John chuckled through the tears. "At least if I can't be here, I know he'll take care of you and that's all I can ask."  
  
Aeryn couldn't speak for several microts, the sobbing worse, only wanting to hold onto both of them. She cleared her throat and swiped away the tears that were blurring her vision. "He's.not.you," was all she could manage.  
  
John looked at the ceiling taking a deep breath, detesting the words he was about to say. "He is, Aeryn. He is me, we just have different memories. Remember that and it will guide you. just like your star did me. Never. lose. hope, babe. Now I gotta go," he said, drying his tears. "Crichton out," he said shutting off the comm, holding it in both hands, not wanting it to end. He knew if he didn't now, he never would.  
  
Aeryn heard the static in her comm, aware he had shut his off. She hugged herself, the tears flowing freely. "Goodbye, John."  
  
xxxxx  
  
  
  
Giving himself a few moments to compose himself, he finally turned back to the reason he came. He saw John's eyes turned away, like the little boy who'd been caught listening when he shouldn't have been.  
  
Walking back to his seat, he asked, "Ready John?"  
  
"No.we need to talk, dammit! You just can't come in here and leave like you never existed! You did and you screwed up everything.especially me," John said, adding softly, "and Aeryn."  
  
The other John sat next to him. What his twin said was true, but only time could fix that now. In order for the universe to exist it was necessary for him to come back. His only regret was never being able to hold Aeryn in his arms again. "John it was necessary, but I'm sorry. You and Aeryn will heal; I have enough faith in you man. You love her as much as I do." The twin could only imagine the rocky road they both had in front of them. "Now, stop the delays and remember what I told you."  
  
The twin reached out and placed his hands on either side of John's head. "Relax, brother, you'll only get the memories you need to fight the Scarrans. The rest I'm keeping. I wouldn't give them up for the world," he chuckled, feeling his counterpart relax. He was pleased to hear the slight snicker escape his lips.  
  
They both relaxed in the surreal world the Ancients had set aside for this purpose.  
  
The mist hovered around them, embracing the brothers, comforting them in the journey they were about to take one last time.  
  
"Open up your mind, John. It will be easy and swift that way," the twin offered, feeling stirrings he knew he shouldn't, it would only impede their progress. He couldn't stop them, feeling John's own love, so strong for Aeryn, spilling into his thoughts instead of the way it was meant to be.  
  
The twin concentrated harder on breaking down the barriers John had built around his thoughts to stop his progress. The other realized at that moment John wanted him to live and he to be the one to leave. He fought him, not allowing this. "No John! Let me enter, it's the only way. It's not your choice or mine anymore!"  
  
John still struggled against him. "No, Aeryn deserves to be with you. You.both.had something.we never .had. I.I just want her to be happy." There was no anger in his words, just love.  
  
The twin backed off a bit, surprised by what he heard, his heart content that John had finally realized this. He knew it wasn't his fault, the Crichton family always being a bit hard headed. He had learned when he had her by himself on Talyn. His brother never had that luxury, taking him longer to open his heart fully. Now that he had he wouldn't allow anything to stand in the way. "I think you have found your way, John."  
  
The twin always knew John loved Aeryn, but there was much he still had to learn and it seemed he had finally done so. "You have to go back if you want Aeryn to survive. If I go, everyone will perish," he said solemnly, knowing John would do the right thing now. The twin felt him relax again and proceeded to allow his thoughts to enter his brother's mind, feeling no more resistance. John glowed in the mist as he took in his twin's memories, twitching and shuddering as the Scarrans entered his mind.  
  
Both were suddenly blinded by the piercing light that stabbed at their eyes, turning their heads away from it.  
  
The figure entered the light, standing there as if a halo surrounded its head. "Our job is complete. It is time for us to go and for you, John Crichton, to return to your friends."  
  
  
  
John felt dazed for a moment, his brain overwhelmed by all he had learned from his twin. Now he understood. Pulling himself upright, he looked at the figure. "Don't take him yet, we still have things to talk about," he said, glancing at his twin. "Let me handle the Scarrans first and then we can talk. I.if it's. ok with him." John knew he had no right to request this; it was just his gut feeling, something he needed to do.  
  
The twin answered for the figure. "It's not possible, John. I have to leave with them, it's my destiny, and I just showed you yours."  
  
"What if I'm not the right choice?" John asked, doubting himself.  
  
"There is no other choice," the figure stated solemnly, allowing no room for discussion. "Goodbye, John Crichton." 


	5. Ripples In Time Part Five

Ripples In Time By: Can (lucyc_23455@yahoo.com) Spoilers: Up through Unrealized Reality Rating: PG Disclaimer: I don't own them  
  
Thanks to gbbarb for reading  
  
  
  
Part 5  
  
  
  
John felt the pounding in his head, the voice shouting in his ear. "Get down here now Crichton!" D'Argo's voice loomed over the comms, waking his befuddled mind. John fell back in the chair, slamming his head against the floor. He winced, stunned for a moment, his hands massaging his temples, the ache in his head growing worse.  
  
"Ok, ok.D'Argo, I hear ya! Just stop shouting!" John replied, lifting his head carefully and looking around the room. "What's up?" He asked, not quite feeling right, knowing there was something he had to do.  
  
D'Argo growled. "John, get your eema to command now! We have a dreadnought in sight!" He knew John had his own problems, but this wasn't the time to deal with them.  
  
Aeryn held her breath listening to them talk, wondering if the other was still aboard. "John is.he.with you?" She asked, hoarsely, her throat dry.  
  
John couldn't move as it all came back, his brother, the Ancients, the Scarrans and his part in it. He pulled himself to a sitting position, trying to put it all together, his face showing nothing but shock. "Shit," he said dropping his head into his hands, remembering his last moments with his twin, feeling a sense of loss.  
  
The silence was starting to worry Aeryn, D'Argo and Chiana. "Well someone say something to him!" Chiana stated, worried about John. "What if the other one won't let him talk for some reason?"  
  
Aeryn shot her a warning glance. "Don't Chiana!" Aeryn said sharply, fearing her own thoughts.  
  
D'Argo tried again. "John is he with you?" If Crichton didn't answer soon, he would go to his quarters himself.  
  
John contemplated ignoring them, wanting time to absorb all he had learned, but he knew it was probably useless to think he could get away with it.  
  
"John answer or we're coming there!" The urgency in Aeryn's voice prompted him, knowing what she wanted to hear, unable to satisfy her need.  
  
"No," he said, his voice faltering, pulling himself slowly to his feet. His body ached, the weariness setting in. "I'm.on.my way." John shut off his comm, wanting only silence so he could think.  
  
John limped out of his cell, walking along the corridors, absorbing all his twin had told him. It was up to him now; he only hoped he could do it.  
  
xxxxx  
  
"Where the frell is he?" D'Argo shouted, only to realize he couldn't communicate with John any longer. D'Argo turned to Aeryn for the answer, only to see her paled expression.  
  
Chiana stepped closer to D'Argo wrapping her hands around his arm, worried about her. "D'Argo, there is something going on that only John and Aeryn know about," she said, fearing for them all, noting Aeryn's silence and the despair she detected in John's voice.  
  
"Aeryn?" D'Argo spoke softly. "Do you know where he is?" He saw her facial expression change, her lips twisted as if she were in pain.  
  
Without looking at him, she laid her hand on his arm, staring straight ahead. "He's gone," she stated softly, walking away to stare out at the stars.  
  
D'Argo watched her; sure she had lost her mind now. None of it made any sense! You just can't disappear on a frelling Leviathan! "Chiana maybe you need to see to Aeryn. I think she's fahrbot now! Nobody just disappears!" D'Argo had all he could take for the microt. His biggest worry was the Scarran vessel and that was where he needed to focus his attention.  
  
John walked into command seeing the Luxan using the plotter. "Worried D? Well don't. I've got it all under control!" He had used the time it took him to get to command wisely. John would carry out his duties and worry about everything else later.  
  
"Spare me, John. I think we can do without your brilliant ideas right now. This dreadnought is almost in range," D'Argo replied harshly, noting the green shirt he was wearing. He was happy to see John, but this wasn't a time for a reunion.  
  
"Then what the frell are we still doing here, D'Argo? I thought you were a better captain than that," John chuckled, playing with his friend.  
  
D'Argo growled in warning. "Pilot instructed me to wait because of something Aeryn said to him. If not for that, we would have starburst arns ago," he replied, resentful over the situation. "Where is the other one?"  
  
"Gone," John replied. He saw D'Argo open his mouth, but John cut him off. Now was not the time. "We'll talk about it later, D."  
  
John glanced at Aeryn and turned away quickly. He couldn't let it in now. It would have to wait, he thought, as he walked towards the view screen concentrating. "Pilot, get ready, it's almost time." John closed his eyes and allowed the equations to flow through his mind, breathing deeply as each one formed and came together with another.  
  
Aeryn and Chiana had been quiet when John entered, listening to him banter with D'Argo. They were both surprised by the lightness in his tone, after hearing him on the comms earlier. Aeryn knew it was time and warned Chiana.  
  
"Time for what, Aeryn?" She asked, not knowing what to think.  
  
Quietly Aeryn said, "Starburst. It's done." She bit her lip knowing he was gone, only having his words to hold onto. She decided that would have to be enough. Being with him she considered a gift, one she wasn't likely to receive again. Her life was with the one standing before her.  
  
"Commander, I see it developing," Pilot said, anxious to get away from this quadrant of space.  
  
John opened his eyes and smiled, the blue twirling tunnel welcoming him and his friends, never to allow the Scarrans their wish. "Let's do it Pilot!" John shouted, as the crew looked out upon the wormhole that was ready to take them to safety.  
  
Aeryn slowly walked towards John, feeling the Leviathan power up for starburst. Standing by his side, she looked up at him. "Are you alright?" She asked softly, fingering his jacket.  
  
John was still smiling, never looking her way. "Don't know. Give me time. I.I .think I have a lot to .think about."  
  
They all fell to the floor as they felt the thrust of starburst and the wormhole sucking them in. John was the first to his feet knowing he had to close it or the Scarrans would follow. Aeryn rose to his side, holding onto him as they navigated the tunnel.  
  
John tried to clear his mind and let the formulas surge again, only this time in reverse. It wasn't working; feeling the panic rise, the calm gone.  
  
John pulled away from Aeryn. "Please, God no.don't do this to us now," he pleaded, struggling to get back control, as John felt himself pulled into another realm.  
  
Aeryn saw the light that surrounded him, not daring to disrupt it, stepping away, seeing fear grip him for a microt, then peace. John basked in the glow, his whole body giving into the soothing calmness that washed over his soul.  
  
The equations started coming now, crashing through, causing his body to shake uncontrollably, the gap closing behind them.  
  
D'Argo watched his friend in horror, rushing to his side to help him. Aeryn grabbed his arm. "No D'Argo, don't interfere or we're all dead. They are helping him close the wormhole."  
  
D'Argo hesitated for a microt before calling Pilot, "Are they following?" He wanted to know who 'they' were, but it would have to wait.  
  
"No, D'Argo. It seems Commander Crichton was successful.the wormhole has closed," Pilot replied, relieved Officer Sun's plan had worked.  
  
The threat over, John collapsed to the deck, his whole body spent, the crew gathering around him. His mind was hazy, the voices distant, "You did it John. They can't follow us now!"  
  
John knew D'Argo was talking to him, but he was too exhausted to answer. He closed his eyes and welcomed the sleep that called him.  
  
D'Argo swept him up in his arms and turned to carry him to his cell. "Chiana, can you stay in command while Aeryn and I tend to John?"  
  
"I'll stay, D'Argo," Aeryn said, quietly. D'Argo looked at her with questioning eyes. "It's best this way. Chiana, go with him please." She needed to think and this would give her time to do so.  
  
xxxxx  
  
John tossed and turned in his sleep, the events from the past few days circling his mind, dredging up real and not so real memories. Seeing his twin with Aeryn cut through his heart, never imagining it could happen again. He remembered his own doubts about himself, willing to take the twins place with the Ancients so Aeryn would have her love. With these memories also brought terrifying nightmares; he saw himself fail with the wormhole technology, the Leviathan being destroyed by the Scarrans. It seemed so real it jolted him forcefully from his sleep, the sweat pouring off of him, screaming only one word, "No!"  
  
John sprung up in his bed, trying to catch his breath, the dream terrorizing him. He shivered as the air met his warm body, drawing the covers over his shoulders. John wiped his face off with both hands and just stared, the dream so real to him. What if he failed the next time and it became a reality? He almost did today in that last minute. John slowed his breathing, recalling the explanation given to him by his twin.  
  
The Ancients knew he had been working on his own, learning more and more everyday about wormholes. If they were going to allow him to live, he needed all of the equations to protect himself and the rest of the universe. His twin had that information and was sent to him for that purpose. With his help he had the rest of the knowledge he needed to control wormholes. It made sense now. The dreadnought was a test to see if he could handle it.  
  
John felt the weariness come over him again, not wanting to sleep. He leaned against Moya's pulsating walls and closed his eyes, resting them.  
  
xxxxx  
  
"So," D'Argo said, rising from the table. "You have told me everything now, Aeryn?" He asked, measuring her expression.  
  
"Yes," she replied, still feeling miserable for not being able to tell sooner. "You know if I could have told you then I would have. It was.hard.keeping it all to myself and having to deal with both of them on my own."  
  
"Where do you stand now?" D'Argo inquired, leaning his hands on the table, searching her face. He could see sadness, but she was basically unreadable.  
  
"It depends on John. I know he is hurt and confused right now, but I am willing to make my life with him," Aeryn replied, still having the other one on her mind. She didn't know if she could ever forget what they had. She consoled herself with his words, 'We are the same, only different memories.'  
  
"Aeryn.do you love him?" He asked hesitantly, not sure what he was going to hear.  
  
Aeryn looked up at him, a few tears falling slowly. "I.I .love.them both!" She smiled, trying to bite back the tears. It hurt so bad, yet felt so good to know what love was finally. She couldn't imagine her life without it now.  
  
D'Argo reached down and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. His heart went out to both his friends, hoping they could overcome the turmoil the others had caused. "Give him time, Aeryn.show him again."  
  
xxxxx  
  
They found John in command with Chiana after finishing first meal.  
  
"We thought you would still be sleeping, John," D'Argo stated, pleased to see him.  
  
"Couldn't sleep anymore, D. Too much going through my head," he replied, his voice flat, glancing at Aeryn before returning to the repairs Pilot had asked him to perform. "Chiana, when I tell you to, flip that control," he said, sliding back under the console with his tools.  
  
"Whoa, hold on a microt!" D'Argo shouted, his hand up, trotting over to the console. "What the frell are you doing Crichton?" If anyone was going to do anything with the controls it would be him.  
  
John's head emerged enough for him to see D'Argo. "It's no big deal. Pilot said there was some sort of lag in the reaction. He asked me to check it out," John replied, his tone harsher than he meant it to be. "Just leave it alone."  
  
D'Argo was furious that Pilot had asked John instead of him. "Pilot, why didn't you call me?" The Luxan's voice was demanding.  
  
"Ka D'Argo, you and Officer Sun were occupied and the Commander was already here. I think he is capable of handling this," Pilot responded, indignant over the question. It was his ship, not the Luxan's.  
  
"You are right. I am sorry Pilot," D'Argo replied, knowing he had been put in his place gracefully by Pilot.  
  
"Well I'm glad I meet with your approval," John said sarcastically, sliding back under the console. Working on the wires, John wasn't surprised that the Luxan didn't trust him. He too doubted himself especially after his twin. He figured D'Argo couldn't help but see the difference between them also.  
  
John was jolted by a wave of impulses. "Shit!" He yelled, knowing it was his fault for not keeping his mind on his work.  
  
"Are you alright John?" Aeryn asked quickly, knowing something had gone wrong.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be finished in a microt," he said, fusing the two wires together. "Try it now Chiana." He hoped it worked. Now that they were all in command he wanted to leave, not ready to answer the questions he knew would come.  
  
Chiana did as she was told and felt the control move easily now. "Seems good John," she said smiling. When she had met him in command she never pressed him for anything. She just let him talk.  
  
"Pilot? Good to go now?" John asked, ready to split.  
  
"Very good, John, thank you," Pilot replied, grateful. Pilot had asked him to make the repair to take his mind off what he had been through. He didn't anticipate the others returning so soon.  
  
"Glad to help, Pilot," John replied, sliding out from under the console and getting to his feet. He stood to see all eyes on him. "What?"  
  
"Are you alright my friend?" D' Argo asked, the sadness in his eyes showing. He knew the pain he had gone through over Chiana; he could only imagine how John felt, it being his own twin.  
  
John chuckled. "Why so solemn D? I'm fine.really," he said, starting to walk towards the exit.  
  
Chiana knew John didn't need questions now. He would talk about it when he was ready, and it wasn't now, if ever. 'How much can one man take?' She thought to herself, ready whenever he needed her.  
  
Aeryn stepped in his way, blocking the exit. "Can I walk with you?" She asked softly. There were no demands in her voice, only the question, her eyes showing sincerity.  
  
John hesitated, not sure he was ready for this yet. He remembered his twin and his words, conceding for the moment for him. He nodded, his mouth dry, not sure he could find his voice.  
  
Once in the corridor, Aeryn spoke first. "I'm sorry, John. I was so surprised.I didn't know what to do," she said, her voice filled with pain. She knew her apology didn't make up for the hurt, but it was all she could say to start the healing. "He reminded me of something before he left. The only thing that made you two different were what each of you experienced apart.other than that you are.exactly the same. He died, but you suffered as well."  
  
John winced, turning away to avoid the look in her eyes. He couldn't take the pain he saw in Aeryn. He blamed her, but didn't. John felt a sense of betrayal, only imagining what she had shared with the other, but those memories the twin had kept for himself. John smiled to himself remembering that moment, not blaming him in the least; he would have done the same.  
  
John knew he still loved her, but the piercing ache still stabbed at his heart. He blinked quickly, looking up to the ceiling, his lips quivering. "I need to. um.ask you something," he said, his voice raspy, the lump in his throat growing with each word.  
  
Aeryn reached up to touch his face. John drew away quickly, not wanting to feel her warmth. She pulled her hand back as if it had been burnt.  
  
"What.happened to.us?" John asked, looking down at her, the tears glistening in his eyes.  
  
Aeryn stood there, surprised, not expecting the question. The guilt consumed her. She knew he had every right to ask after the two arns they had spent together. Aeryn realized he deserved an answer. Raising her face to his, she answered him the only way she knew how. "I told you, I didn't know what to do. You asked me once. 'Do I love John Crichton?'...well the answer is.yes. I had my time with him.but I will spend the rest of eternity with you."  
  
John reached up and slid his hand over her cheek. "I really don't blame you Aeryn, I.just needed an answer." John dropped his hand, his blue eyes penetrating hers. "I just need some.time," he said, walking away, deep in thought.  
  
xxxxx  
  
They had studied the after affects of their interference. They were not pleased with what they saw. Their mission was successful and they knew the knowledge would be protected, but the man himself had been affected emotionally.  
  
The keeper turned to him, "Are you willing to help heal him?"  
  
"Of course, he is my brother."  
  
xxxxx  
  
John felt dazed when he returned to his quarters. So much of what he learned seemed foreign to him, but it shouldn't have been. He had been working on the equations for arns. They should have found a home in his head easily. Maybe it was the twin and his capabilities that still haunted him. John didn't know, he was unsure of everything anymore, including himself.  
  
John dropped down in the seat he had used when his twin was aboard, dropping his head into his hands. "Why the hell did you choose me? Damn you!" He shouted, not caring whether anyone heard him or not. John didn't want it. He wanted them to take it back and leave him alone. Let Aeryn and him go back to the way they were.  
  
John lifted his head, the tears blurring his vision. He stood up hastily, knocking the chair over, not believing who he saw standing before him.  
  
The other enjoyed the reaction from his brother, smiling. "Aren't you going to say something like, 'welcome back'? He chuckled, seeing the shocked expression on his face, moving forward to take his place at the table. "Sit, John, we need to talk."  
  
John slowly lowered himself into the chair, keeping his eyes on the twin. "Why are you back? They told me you couldn't stay." John said confused, but grateful. There was much he needed to know and he was the only one who could tell him.  
  
"Let's just say.they are unhappy with you. You aren't handling all of this very well and that worries them," the twin replied, glad they had let him come. He knew all along they would need to talk after the knowledge had been given to him, but it was something the Ancients had to see for themselves. The twin leaned over, his hands together. "John tell me what's wrong. You have all you could want and yet you're still unhappy."  
  
John thought for a moment digging deep inside himself, trying to put it into words. "I don't think I was the right choice," he replied, dropping his head. "I only frell everything up."  
  
"No more than me," the twin replied, laughing. "We are both alike. If I was here instead of you it wouldn't make a difference. Remember what I told you. we are the same only different memories. I just had a knowledge you didn't and you had one I didn't. Now they are merged and the knowledge is complete. It's difficult to handle, but you will. with time."  
  
"What about Aeryn? How do we put that back together?" John asked, knowing he needed her if he hoped to go on.  
  
"Dig deep John, you will find the answer. In fact I think you already know. You don't need me for that one. The love I have for her is the same as you possess; just open your heart again. She'll be there," his twin replied. "John you know something I've really missed?"  
  
"What's that?" He asked curious.  
  
"Rock, paper and scissors. It's been ages since I played it. You up for a game?" The twin asked smiling, knowing what his brother would say. "They gave me two arns with you."  
  
"You got it!" John stated, immediately accommodating his twin. He felt like a new person thanks to him, understanding finally.  
  
The two sat there laughing and arguing, playing the game they brought from their home.  
  
Neither of them realized Aeryn stood behind the door in the shadows, listening and watching, the tears cascading down her face, mixing with the smile that formed on her lips. She stood there watching the two men she loved, playing the game only they understood, content until the microt they all had to part.for the last time.  
  
  
  
The end 


End file.
